Hey guys...so it has been a VERY hot minute, but I didn't forget you o! lai lai!!! School is crazy, education is seriously not a joke mehn..but I'm working it, one step at a time..
In this new year, I'm thankful most especially for life, God's unconditional goodness (Thank you Daddy), and my awesomely ROCKING family!!!
Aside..
I really appreciate ALL the comments on the proses and poem..thanks guys..you all help me hone my skills
Digression..
Apparently, I NEED a boyfriend as voiced by various people, I too I'm beginning to seriously consider this notion and as such I have decided blogsville willl be the perfect spot.... All interested GENTLEMEN apply within (via comments).
CRITERIA
Minimum requirements
Passionate about JESUS = Jesus Freak
Bachelors degree in a lucrative field (a PHD may propel you to the front of the resume stack)
Exquisitely furnished face and of considerable height (by considerable we mean 5' 6" and above)
Excellent culinary and hair styling skills
Excellent sense of dress and color combination
Must possess character, integrity, and that IGBO swag! (*candidates do not have to be Nigerian/ Igbo to possess said Igbo swag).
Must be humble, attentive, driven, leading, compromising, and supporting (in all facets - career- wise, family etc)
Inquisitive palate
Must be a feminist (believer in equal rights for MEN and WOMEN, male chauvinists will be promptly kicked to the curb!!)
Additional Propellants (factors that are not requirements but may propel you to the top of the stack)
Willingness to have a trophy gf/wife
Willingness to sponsor trophy gf/wife on EXTRAVAGANT louboutin shoe shopping sprees
Willingness to take gf/wife AROUND THE ENTIRE WORLD (No, not in the confines of a bed, this is literal people!)
Willingness to cater to gf/wife's every whim and fancy
Willingness to be gf/wife's mule/ beast of burden (in a very SWEET WAY of course)
* This position is open to ONLY HETEROSEXUAL men. (No Bisexuals, Homosexuals, MSM, or transexuals)
**Transvestites may apply, but only those who engage in transvestism for cultural purposes.
*** Subsequent changes may be made to Criteria.
FAQ
Q:Why should I choose you?
A: Have you seen the profile picture/blogfile pic? Such Luscious hair....your fingers will never be cold again.
Q: It seems you want to be a trophy wife, how is that supposed to help me? I thought relationships were supposed to be about two people building and helping one another grow?
A: You are quite right, and this is what this relationship will involve...I shall be building and enhancing your travel experience and dossier, in addition to your reputation at Christian Louboutin. Moreover, I shall fill your ears with intellectual chatter....I shall be your Dostoevsky, Kant, however you like it sire... I can even be Dickens. You will not need the CNN female versions of Don Lemon or Anderson Cooper. I shall be IT bay-bay!!
And on that note, I leave with a HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13 comments:
LOL @ the FAQs...
bagucci are you applying by any chance? LOL. Nice one and good luck with the studies dear.
@ Myne..thanks hun..and a BIG CONGRATS!!! (I wanna be like you when I grow up! lol)
@ Bagucci..yelz? are you hinting an application sir? he he..
@the experiences of an achiever -- lol.. hmm, am i? maybe fictionally - yes... :)
Naija bloggers love connection, ehn?
How you dey?
LWKMD! this is a vacancy that won't attract many applicants. nice read though, all the best in your studies.
@ Mr Bagucci..way to go o!! just bursting my bubble anyhow..smh
@ Mrs Sydelle..inlaw, yes o..we have to find the guy sharply (lol!) I dey o! U?
@ Femme Lounge..thanks for stopping by! ah! u think? lai lai mehn..the guy must show himself! lol!
so how did it go? Did you find someone?
@ Nice Anon..nne m..Mba o..all these fake blogger guys, they did not apply o! Even Mr. Bagucci was fronting.. :D
Na wa o! You don't want much do you? You should have come straight to your Aunty Mena for a hook up. I have a very hot village cousin. English ain't his first language but hey,you're an educated chick so your kids should still turn out well rounded. Holla and I'll set the wheels in motion. Ah! Love is in the air.
ah Mena!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have killed me o!!! how are we supposed to communicate eh?? with my polished american/british english and his ijebu I cannot understand..he he.. Chai,Mena o!!!!! I thought we *cared for one another..smh..*tears
i apply ma'am.. sadly i may not be able to compete with Christian Kane.. But I would run him close.
Hilarious blog you've got here though! Now following.
Finally, an applicant!!! thank you jare QuTe..your application is now on file and pending. We at the FindAdiaaBf company will get back to you shortly. :D
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